Too much butter

March 30, 2006

As u may kno… i enjoy butter… too much… it's funny now… but we'll see how long that lasts.. although… this has been a staple of my identity for years… (A STAPLE)

anyway… i was about to enjoy some toasted english muffins… but the  butter was too hard from the fridge… so… i nuked it for a sec…. or well… for however many seconds until i forgot about it and heard it sizzling… 

no matter… i just poured it over my toasty treats…

what happened next… was one of those moments that you just KNOW is history as it happens… i immediately thought of retelling and blogging the event…

altho that's pretty much any moment…

never before had I ever HEARD such a sloshing of butter from a food item upon biting… the butter squirted… literally… visably… this was a full sensory experience… I saw the butter spray forth… I heard it gush… I smelled and tasted it of course… and i felt it as it ran down my chin and onto the plate… it all happened in an instant… 

i was horrified

immediately

alone

i shouted:

THAT'S fucking disgusting

let's pause a moment… this is TGH here…"disgusting"? can there be "too much butter?"  i've been known eat sticks for a gas… don't even ask about the baked potatoes…

yes… THIS was disgusting…

I thought immediately of throwing it away… my stomach was already feeling off from even that one juicey bite…

but then I thought….

JELLY!

Like many other legends (sasquatch… Jus Tone… my ability to feel feelings…) "too much butter" simply does not exist.

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