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Thomas G Henry’s Somewhat Ridiculous B’day Party

Posted By:
The Townhouse

Hosted By:
Thomas G Henry
e-mail

When:
Saturday Jul 08, 2006
at 8:00 PM

Where:
TheTownHouze
msg me for directions myspace.com/thomasghenry
poughkeepsie, NY 12601
US
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a keg… a salad bar… a kissing booth… … …and I will abso-fucking-lutely cry if I want to.
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SPREAD THE WORD…
Hiya!!I turn “the big two five” on Saturday and I want you to come and be drunk in my home with me.There will be no door prizes.
There may or may not be a salad bar.
There may or may not be a keg.

Do NOT bring me gifts… I have “a thing” about gifts. I will burn them without hesitation still in their wrapping… (unless it’s a living, unharmed fire fly)

There will however be a “Kissing Booth”.

I will be charging $1/minute of making out with……… Me.

Why? Because it’s that kinda “somewhat ridiculous birthday party”. If you’ve ever been curious about the leathery chops on this grimey mug… this will be your opportunity to “make all your wildest dreams come true.”

Making out with with me for a minute at a time is fun, safe, and you might just learn something*.

Persons in relationships must show proof of permission from their significant others. This can be a signed permission slip from him/her or a waiver from you that he/she will not know, and or care, and or try to “get” me, and or wreck my stuff as a result of your actions in, around, or pertaining to the kissing booth.

I may or may not donate every dollar to something meaningful.

I will also accept living, unharmed fireflies as currency.

Proof of a complete recent negative STD test enters you into the orgy raffle. KIDDING……………………………………………………………………………………

But I spose if u wanna pay each other a dollar to make out without me that’s fine too. Maybe if a significant amount of money gets raised I’ll actually donate it to something… suggestions?

Usual Townhouse rules apply… call or write for directions (845.22.88.555, thomasghenry@gmail.com, myspace.com/thomasghenry )… smoking out back… quiet out front… park in guest spaces only… BYOB encouraged but not mandated… nudity mandated but not encouraged… crashing is welcome but you may or may not wake up being spooned by me or Rob, or you may or may not have to share a futon with 17 children… dont drive drunk.. u may or may not get all burned up like that chick in the bulliten…

I hope my vanity is equal parts digusting and fun. I am actually very fragile and lonely. I’m scared no one will come to my birthday party. I’m scared that no one will ever kiss me again… because it’s so expensive… cuz of the gas prices.

MOST IMPORTANTLY (even more important than not drunk driving) PLEASE WEAR A FESTIVE HAT%%%%%%

*(You may or may not actually learn anything.)

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what's that song? anyone?

anyway… 4 more things to go….

not counting tomorrow's final…. cuz it's upon me… the studying is thru…

calc finals mon-wed

discrete math research paper (GAH YECK FUCK ACKKKKK GRRRRR YICH OHHHH FUCK again)

final discrete homework…………………..

and finalize my uno game in java… with gui

none too bad….

altho the research paper still has about 25 hours of work remaining to be done on it…

still… not bad… maybe about 4 hours for each of the other things… +/- 37 solid hours of homework between me and getting very very drunk 

im guessing it's stress… which will be over soon… but this is kinda ridiculous…

wow… i was a hungry boy today…

a yogurt

2 hot dogs

beef ramen

a peanut butter english muffin

4 or 5 glasses of water

and a chips ahoy flirtation… but i was too full

made and consumed in about 10 minutes 

im almost not tired

April 26, 2006

this is half fantastic

Too much butter

March 30, 2006

As u may kno… i enjoy butter… too much… it's funny now… but we'll see how long that lasts.. although… this has been a staple of my identity for years… (A STAPLE)

anyway… i was about to enjoy some toasted english muffins… but the  butter was too hard from the fridge… so… i nuked it for a sec…. or well… for however many seconds until i forgot about it and heard it sizzling… 

no matter… i just poured it over my toasty treats…

what happened next… was one of those moments that you just KNOW is history as it happens… i immediately thought of retelling and blogging the event…

altho that's pretty much any moment…

never before had I ever HEARD such a sloshing of butter from a food item upon biting… the butter squirted… literally… visably… this was a full sensory experience… I saw the butter spray forth… I heard it gush… I smelled and tasted it of course… and i felt it as it ran down my chin and onto the plate… it all happened in an instant… 

i was horrified

immediately

alone

i shouted:

THAT'S fucking disgusting

let's pause a moment… this is TGH here…"disgusting"? can there be "too much butter?"  i've been known eat sticks for a gas… don't even ask about the baked potatoes…

yes… THIS was disgusting…

I thought immediately of throwing it away… my stomach was already feeling off from even that one juicey bite…

but then I thought….

JELLY!

Like many other legends (sasquatch… Jus Tone… my ability to feel feelings…) "too much butter" simply does not exist.

Kool Milk

March 28, 2006

I'm currently enjoying glass of chocolate milk….. AND a glass of Kool-Aid… separately…@ the same time.